Good Advice

[William Ohmsford]

1. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

2. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

3. If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving.

4. He who hesitates is not only lost but has to go back and find the exit.

5. Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river.

6. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

7. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

8. Don't let school interfere with your education.

9. Never put off till tomorrow what you can forget about forever.

10. Housework done properly can kill you.

11. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

12. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

13. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

14. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

15. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!