Thoughts on Aging
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
You believe in Santa Claus.
You don't believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.
You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.